Saturday, November 27, 2010

We all have a little bit of worry, don't we?

I have had some wonderful conversations and responses to the post about worry. I believe it is something we can all connect to, and so it inspires an urge to respond. Dear friend Claire ( with a song I can sing to myself and Peach...Claire says....

"Now I walk in beauty
Beauty is before me
Beauty is behind me,
Above and below me. . .

You know this song?  So, hold yourself and the baber in beauty.  All will be well....."

Now don't let the worry be over-stated. There is so so much happy anticipation with this pregnancy! And there is also worry.

So, back to this idea of being effective with one's worry. First and foremost for me is to bring a mindfulness framework to the worry. Be a witness rather than a judge to my worry: "Oh, interesting, there I go worrying again...funny me...." Second, as I said earlier, exaggeration and humor: "Oh, Mark, what if Peach has Down Syndrome? Or, or, what if she has two heads? Does that mean she'll talk back twice as much???!" And third, worry can be motivating. I don't think I wrote about this a few days ago and yet it is essential to worry having any chance of being effective. Worry can motivate behavior change, it can motivate shifts in one's thinking and beliefs, and it can motivate gathering of important and useful information when face to face with a worry, an unknown. For example, I worry about having a baby with Down Syndrome, or a baby with two heads. So, what have I done? I am religious about pre-natal vitamins, I am exercsing like a fiend, I am eating well, and it was a piece of cake to kick my crack habit cold turkey :) And it has been just wonderful to be alcohol and caffeine-free for months now. So, these worries have been extremely effective in motivating me. I wish I could be as consistently dedicated to myself as I am to Peach! Maybe I just need a little more worry :)

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